


An Alien Wedding On Earth

by burning_nova



Series: Kinkmeme Fills [5]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:03:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burning_nova/pseuds/burning_nova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Response to a prompt on norsekink:<br/>The whole Jotnar/Aesir war was fought over Mitgard, so it only seems fitting that they would sign their peace treaty there (and by peace treaty I mean Loki and Thor's arranged marriage ;). Of course no one considered that the mortals wouldn't remember them or that they might like a heads up. </p><p>I just think it would be hilarious to see everyone freaking out because two alien armies suddenly appeared in Central Park and when the Avengers get there it turns out they're all dressed in their Sunday best and there's booze enough for everybody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony read the report and tried to understand why R&D thought this was a good idea. He knew they had turned it over to him in the hope he could figure out how to power without frying the internal drive _and_ keep the price reasonable for the average Stark Tech client. He looked at his phone, wishing that one of the Avengers would call him. He'd take one of Steve's lectures right now over the debacle in his hands. He could make it work but that wouldn't make it profitable.

He scrapped the plans. No, they would need to redesign it completely. He got up and looked outside his window. It was a nice day. He would go for a flight later and hopefully get rid of some stress. He smirked, maybe he would get lucky and piss of Captain Uptight by showing off a bit and making the news. His smile turned grim. 

He liked the idea of the Avengers but somehow they felt like a joke. A group of 'superheroes' fighting war criminals and nerds with delusions of grandeur. In theory those activities should haven taken up most of their time not rounds of publicity work, something Steve was all too familiar with. Poor Bruce had to hulk out more often than not for an event. Although by contrast Natasha and Clint hardly appeared in public, lucky bastards. He grinned at himself. It wasn't like people wouldn't have known he was Iron Man anyways. He had declared it on international news way before the Avengers assembled. 

His brows furrowed as he saw the clouds in the horizon darken rapidly. "Jarvis, weather report."

"Expected high of 98 degrees Fahrenheit, sunshine, low cloud coverage."

"What are the chances for rain?"

"5%."

"Well, then that's not good." Lightning flew from the cloud and headed Uptown. "Shit." He saw two rays strike in the distance and saw the lights flickered in the buildings around him. Then the clouds dissipated quickly as they arrived. 

"JARVIS, I want to know how common spontaneous lightning is and see if you can find any reason why those clouds formed."

"At once, sir."

He grabbed his phone and waited for a possible call from Fury and SHIELD. His eyes kept scanning the sky, finger impatiently tapping at the phone. A few minutes it rang with the ring tone of the "Star Spangled Man". 

"Stark."

"Tony, it's Steve." 

"I know it's you, Steve. I see your name pop up when you call."

"Well you said 'Stark'. I know sometimes people just answer without looking."

"Fair Enough. Now, what's up?"

"Did you see what just happened?"

"You mean the mysterious lightning? Yeah I saw that." 

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know. I'm having JARVIS check it out. I hope it's just quirky weather patterns and not an evil scientist trying to control the weather."

"Yeah, me too." Steve sighed. "Do you think we should investigate?" 

"If you want, Cap. Not much else to do?" He ventured.

"No. Well there's an assembly I have to attend, but most kids these days don't know who I am anymore. I don’t see the point of it. I'm half-expecting Senator Stern to sign me up for tour with dancers, just like old times. Only this time I’ll get booed off the stage. At least during the war I was selling bonds and believe me, they sold.”

“Don’t worry, cap, I believe you. Lost of lonely women back then I bet. Some day we’ll get something better to do than basic PR.” Tony replied with a laugh.

“Maybe. Still up for checking it out?”

“Yep. Give me a moment to scream at my R&D department then I’m all yours.”

“Great, just don’t expect me to take you out to dinner first.” 

“Ah, Cap, you sure know how to treat a guy swell.” Tony snorted. “I’ll see you downstairs say in ten minutes? If we get a call I’ll get there in less time. Should I call the rest of the team?”

“No, I think we should do.” Steve replied and hung up. Tony grabbed his mobile Iron Man armor while JARVIS called his research department. After the call, Tony headed downstairs and saw Steve waiting with Happy in the lobby. Steve gave him friendly clap over the shoulder and the two followed Happy to their ride.

The lightning had hit in Central Park. JARVIS gave approximate coordinates of the impact sights. Tony and Steve headed to the small clearing where the lightning had struck, trying to get the bumbling tourists and New Yorkers to leave or at least move back to a vague perimeter.

When Steve and Tony reached what witness swore to be the impact sight they both stopped. “See anything - any burnt debris or scorched earth” Tony asked as his eyes scanned the area.

“No, and I may not be a genius but I do know lightning just doesn’t fall without leaving anything behind.”

“Yeah.” He replied and walked forward cautiously. The trees swayed in the wind. Tony couldn’t see anything in their foliage " You see anything?”

“No, it’s just quiet.” He looked at the dirt and grass. He gave a frustrated cry. “If anything was here it’s been trampled over.”

“I know.” He crouched down and took a sample of dirt. “Still doesn’t mean everything has gone away.” He stood up. “I’m having Bruce analyze this when we get back.”

“He really works for you?”

“Yeah, and he lives in the Tower. He tried living a bit away but ended up crashing in one of my guests rooms more than slept at home so he just moved in. He’s on SHIELD’s and my payroll. Of course that means he just plays mad scientist to his heart’s content, only occasionally being interrupted to do some work for us.”  
  
“Should I be afraid of whatever you two cook up?” Steve asked jokingly.  
  
“Nah, Dummy’s only had to use the extinguisher twice since he moved in.”

“That was your fault wasn’t it?”

“I plead the fifth.” Tony replied then sighed. “Let’s head back. We’re not going to get anything more than from this.” Steve nodded and they returned to the tower. The first thing Tony did was take off the Iron Man armor before they both headed to Bruce’s lab. He smiled when they came in but otherwise turned his attention back on whatever technology was in front of him. Steve didn’t even bother trying to pretend he knew what it was. Something that ran on electricity, obviously.

“Hey, big guy.” Tony greeted. “I have something for you.” Bruce looked up and frowned at the sample in Tony’s hand. He pushed himself away from the counter, his chair rolling a few feet inches away and turned towards them. 

“What is it?”

He asked as he took it from Tony and placed it at eye level. He peered at it curiously.

“We went to investigate the lightning-“

“What lightning?” Bruce interrupted. 

“You didn’t see it outside of your window?”

“No, I’ve been pretty busy today.” Bruce replied, clearly embarrassed at having missed something so obvious. “What was it?” They told him. “Huh, that is odd. Let me see it then. I’ll tell you if I get any results.”

“Great.” Tony said and clapped his hands together. “I’m hungry. Let’s go out for shawarma.”

“You always suggest that but we never go.” Steve complained. “Do you even know what it is?”

“No, but I want to try it.”

“I want Indian.” Bruce said.  
  
“I could go for some of that.” Tony agreed. Steve muttered something about Tony never sticking to his choice when it came to shawarma.  
  
“Great, let’s go.”  
  
“Experiments.” Bruce pointed out.

“Set them up, then we’ll go.” Tony replied.

“How long will it take you to set them up?” Steve asked as his stomach rumbled.  


“Not that long. I’ll call you when I’m ready.” Bruce said amicably and set out to work.

The results were inconclusive. SHIELD sent a team to take separate readings but by then it was too late to pick-up anything that could have been residual. That very evening another flash of lightning struck. The team went back but found the same results mostly due to the fact that it had been difficult to pin point the location the lightening had struck.

The lightning reoccurred in the following months, never striking in the same place twice. If a mad scientist was behind the lightning he was hiding very well. Each new strike gave SHIELD a better chance at finding the source and stopping it.

A mobile team was on stand-by and was able to pick up and record strange radiation from the sights. The ground showed signs of a circular pattern; any finer details were lost by the time they reached the sights. The lightning always occurred twice. Beyond that they had very little to go on. SHIELD had stopped calling the Avengers when nothing showed up at each sight but having no definite answer made Tony nervous and jittery. 

Almost four months after the first incident, Tony and the Avengers were in the Tower. Clint and Natasha were in the training room with Steve. Bruce sat in Tony's living room, tablet in hand. Tony and Pepper were by the window looking down at the city. People were popping up from the subway and littering the streets in a mad rush to work. 

"Tony," Pepper called, interrupting his thoughts. He turned to her. "Ready to look over the reports? The shareholders want an increase in stocks.

"Again? What more do they want?" Tony groused. "We have the technology market practically cornered now. Our only main competitor is Apple and soon we're going to put the iPhone and all those i products to shame." He said grinning.

"Yes, but our one big issue is pricing. The Stark Phone is better but not in everyone's price range. We need to make it more affordable."

"I can't make it affordable have it be the same product." Tony retorted. "If they want I can make an iPhone knock off with the Stark Tech look and feel. Frankly, I don't think that's worth it. We need-" He stopped and walked closer to the window. "Pepper come here." Pepper got up from where she was sitting and walked over. 

"What is it Tony?"

"Do you see that?" He pointed to the horizon.

"What?" She squinted. 

"That!" he said emphasizing one point in particular. Pepper leaned in closer and pulled back. 

"The clouds?" 

"Yeah, but they're like the lightning clouds only bigger, much bigger." He looked over to the living room. "Bruce, come here!" Bruce put down his tablet and walked over. 

"What?" He asked. Tony pointed outside. "Oh, that can't be good." He said as the clouds continued to darken. "Is the wind picking up?" He asked as he saw several pedestrians suddenly run inside or shield their faces. 

"Yes." Tony replied but his eyes were glued to the growing clouds. "I think, I think we should take a step back." He said as he saw a wind funnel form in the distance. The windows rattled from the gales being produced and now he saw pedestrians running inside, no one intending to stay outside now from the strength of the wind. Several flashes of lightning were seen in the distance. "Want to be it's touching down in Central Park?" 

"That's where most of the lightning's struck so you're probably right." Bruce replied. "Should we call the others up here?"

"Yeah. Jarvis!" Tony called knowing his AI would be speaking to the others at the moment. When the others arrived the funnel had yet to dissipate. They watched, stern faced. After a good ten minutes the funnel started to vanish. The clouds overhead stayed dark but gradually lightened. 

"What do you think it is?" Steve asked sounding tense. 

"I don't know." Tony replied and frowned. "But that wasn't a natural phenomenon."

"I wouldn't have ever guessed." he sighed. "Should we head out?"

"What if there isn't anything?" Natasha asked. "Like all the times before? There'll be nothing there." /p>

“There has to be something.” Clint argued. “All that and then nothing? What is the point?”

“Someone still hasn’t worked everything out in their doomsday device?” Tony said. “And at this rate I think we should just let them cause a bit of mayhem. I mean, a tornado like funnel that doesn’t do any damage? Lightning that doesn’t burn anything? We should give them one of those ribbons when they’re captured.” Bruce snorted.

“A certificate would be better. They could hang it up in their cell.” Natasha said in as serious a tone as ever. Pepper hid her smile and then shook her head.

“Tony? Reports.”

“Nope, sorry, Pepper.” Tony said with a grin. “Avengers take priority to stockholders. I mean what if it’s an alien invasion? What good will their stock be then?” Pepper gave an exasperated sigh and nodded.

“Looks like SHIELD’s rallied their troops.” Steve said as he noticed several helicopters flying toward central park. One of them a conspicuously plain black one that screamed 'covert military plane, ignore or else!'. 

“What do you think those agents do between events?” Tony asked. “Watch Super Nanny?”

“Don’t be silly, Stark. Super Nanny is only on fall’s line up.” Coulson said as he walked in on them. Stark pointed a finger on him.

“Security breach! I revoked his access codes! Pepper, we have to resolve this. You can’t just trust Agent Coulson.” 

Pepper held her hands up. “I haven’t told him anything!” She complained. "Sorry, Phil."

“Then how did he get in?” Steve looked chagrined.

“Steve how could you?” Tony mock gasped and held his hand above his heart. “I thought we trusted each other.”

“Alright enough. What are you here for, Phi?” Natasha asked.

“The weather.” Coulson replied. “Or did you all miss it while arguing over nothing again?”

"Sir, CNN is reporting on the event." JARVIS intoned. 

"Turn it on then." The television in the living room turned on to CNN and the team walked over.

“Hey, it is an alien invasion.” Tony said dumbstruck as he took in the sight on the screen Footage of Central Park appeared on the screen, the word "LIVE" embezzled at the bottom.

"Witnesses state that several hundred of the beings are present, mostly centered on the space known as Sheep Meadow." The reporter announced, sounding more than a little shocked. “So far no casualties have been reported but witnesses report that both sides are armed.”

From a distance two armies or battalions, Tony had no clue what they were but some sort of combatants, were standing across from each other. Supplies scattered here and there between them. Tony’s mind was already trying to construct items from the data supplied. He identified several tent like structures. Here for the long run? Despite the reporters's words the two armies showed no signs of hostility toward another.

“Jesus Christ.” Steve breathed as the cameras zoomed as far in as they could. One side could only be properly described as giants. They stood amid the tree top. Several of them were batting heavy branches out of their way as they moved; the wood falling to the ground and then being kicked aside with ease. They were blue, heavy and humanoid in appearance with four limbs, torso and a head.

The other side was smaller in comparison would have passed for human but for their clothing. Armor glistened in the sunlight and they looked like they would blend right in high-fantasy fiction à la Tolkien. Several men and women (assuming they had that sex and weren’t actually just assuming the form for the humans) were moving their supplies in choreographed ease. Here and there, Tony thought he caught a glance of someone in a gown or tunic and breeches amidst all that armor. The camera pulled out and Tony caught the full extent of the aliens’ presence. Although the majority of them were located at Sheep Meadow he could see small pockets of them scattered through out the park. A few blue giants were creating something out of their hands, from the distance Tony couldn’t tell what it was. 

“Police have established a perimeter and are evacuating the surrounding areas. At this current moment a state of emergency has not been declared although precautions are being taken.” The reporter gave a shaky sigh. “Stay tuned as developments arise.”

The helicopter flew closer and zoomed in again. Several of the aliens looked up. One _waved_ then ignored it. The aliens’ focus seemed to be on moving their supplies to various, but not random, locations. 

“So uh, what now?” Bruce asked as he looked at the screen tensely. The giants were uprooting trees and moving them. When one tree proved to thick to move, a fairly large and bulky giant swung a glistening blade at the trunk. Its swipes and strength made quick work at felling the tree. 

“I don’t know.” Coulson replied shocked. “I mean, aliens.” He breathed out, sounding as surprised as them all. “Despite what you may think, SHIELD didn’t actually prepare us for this. Fury-“ Their phones rang as one then. 

“Commander Fury on the line, sir.” Jarvis intoned.

“Put him on.” Tony said “So what’s the plan?” Tony asked. 

“We go in and hope we don’t get killed.” Fury answered. 

“You mean us.” Steve said clearly unhappy. 

“I mean all of us, Captain Rogers.” Fury snapped. “In case you haven’t noticed two alien species just made first contact and they appear high geared for war. They’re setting up tents, I don’t know if this is just a neutral ground they chose to discuss something or just to fight over, but I’d like to find out and fast.”

“So you want us to go in and what ask them if they’re here for a tea party or to play cowboys and Indians?” Clint groused. “Do you know how stupid that sounds? We don’t even know if they can communicate with us to begin with. They could use interpretive dancing as a means of communication for all we know.”

”He’s right.” Bruce added. “Their physiology is completely unfamiliar to us. I mean they have mouths but,” He frowned, nervously playing with his glasses. “do they even speak? They’ve mastered space travel, they could be beyond the need for speech.”

“I don’t know, but I can only hope they speak something we’re able to understand.” Fury said. “What other choice do we have?”

“Has anyone gotten close to them?” Steve asked as he watched the two armies on CNN captioned _Alien invasion? The end of mankind?_ on mute. 

“No. No one is willing to risk it. Everyone pretty much evacuated as soon as the storm began. You know Central Park has been pretty empty lately because of the preliminary strikes. I think we should take it as a good sign that the aliens let a few unfortunate civilians trapped in the park leave without any incidents. You’ll be the first ones to establish official contact.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Natasha asked. “They’re armed. They’re armies. They don’t look very advanced. We could take them out with a few places strikes.”

“Yes, because what looks like swords to us might be a ray gun for all we know.” Tony snapped. “They traveled in space, I’m pretty sure they’re more advanced than we are.” 

“First we discover their objective.” Clint said calmly. “Then we’ll see if we strike. They could be coming in peace.” 

“All right, enough of this. Go out there and tell me if this is the end of earth or not.” Fury ordered. “Agent Coulson will detail you on your objectives on your way there.” He hung up. 

“To be honest I was open to the possibility of alien life,” Tony started. “but I didn’t expect them to look like us. Humanoid.” He said as the close up of the smaller human like army appeared on screen. A dark haired woman seemed to be arguing with one of the jolly blue giants over placement of one of the tents. Well, it looked like arguing, they could be singing for all he knew. 

“I didn’t really consider it.” Steve replied. “Suit up, Tony.” He left. Bruce sighed and stared at the screen. 

“I hope it’s not an invasion. I don’t want to get dissected by an alien race.” Bruce said. 

“Yeah, none of us do, big guy.” Tony said and went to change. 

”I don’t like this.” Natasha told Clint. “Those other strikes had to be scouting parties. All of this could be a trap.”

“What choice do we have, Tash?” Clint replied. “Let’s just hope, well, let’s just hope.” 

They didn’t fly to Central Park. Coulson drove them and dropped them off several blocks from one of the park entrances. Debriefing them on the way. They walked along one of the paths to the place the armies were centralized. Tony was not happy that his visual cameras were going to be recording everything for the world to see. He had only agreed because if he wanted Rhodey and Pepper to know what was going on. If this was the end he wanted them to know. 

He could see the giants in the distance through the trees. This close they were absolutely huge and he felt a little bit undersized even in his armor. The more humanish aliens were not small either; they looked to be easily taller than Steve though not freakishly tall if they had been human. Had the people been human they would have only been especially tall.

They were less than twenty yards from the nearest aliens when they spotted them. A woman was the first to see them; she tilted her head and gazed at them seriously. A blue giant reacted in kind and walked to the woman. They did not move forward. Tony tensed and he saw his teammates do the same. 

He honestly hoped they were friendly.

They continued walking. Steve signaled for them to stop ten yards farther down. The aliens covered the remaining ground and met them. The woman reached them first. “Greetings, mortals!” She said jubilantly in English. “I welcome you on behalf of King Odin All Father and Asgard.”

“Likewise, humans.” Said the tall blue creature. Again in English. So maybe science fiction writers were onto something. “I am Billingr of Jotunheim. I welcome your presence on behalf of your race in the name of King Laufey and his sons.” 

Tony heard Clint make a small curious sound next to him. No pressure, just representing the human race now. Easy.

“I’m Captain America.” Steve said. “This is my team.” He introduced them by their codenames, except for Bruce who was ‘Doctor Banner’, and everyone nodded when he did so. 

“Excellent, a diplomat and what I assume are Midgard’s finest warriors.” She looked at them wistfully. “How far you have come. I still remember when your kind didn’t know the difference between a horse and a bligsnipe.”

“Lady Sif,” Billingr interrupted. “The ceremonies will start soon. We must finish and cannot allow them to be post-pone them all because of simple mortals.” She glared at him but nodded. 

“You are correct, we have waited long enough for this day. Come, mortals. I will show you where you may wait.”

“I don’t mean to be rude.” Steve began. “But what are you here for exactly?” The two aliens laughed as if he said some joke and they were escorted past the two standing armies to an empty spot where the tents had been set up. 

“Fandral!” Lady Sif yelled. “Stop flirting with Lady Hlóðyn and come guard these mortals. Make sure they do not wander about!” A man dressed in green glared at her but smiled at a small giant who was clearly female.

Tony got a good look at her and whistled. She was rather pretty, he scanned the crowd and saw that the few female giants present were rather pleasant to look at. At least more-so than their male counterparts (assuming they were male and not single sexed or possibly just another variation of female giants- This whole alien thing was giving him a headach.).

Fandral kissed the giant’s hand, bowed and walked to them. His face turned into a scowl as he did so. “Honestly, Sif. This may be my only opportunity to flirt with Lady Hlóðyn today. I have not seen her in a century. How am I to ask for her hand if I cannot talk to her?”

“After today, Fandral you can spend time with her with no bounds. However it still stands, duty before desire, you know that.” Fandral gave a very put upon sigh and bowed to her.

“Of course my glorious goddess.”

“Do not forget what I am goddess of.” Lady Sif said sternly.

“But how could I forget?” He asked and smiled at her. “Go one, they will arrive soon .We have to be ready. We have waited long enough for it!” He said cheerfully. She left and was lost in the crowd. Fandral turned to them. “Greetings, I am Sir Fandral. Who may you be?”

Steve introduced them again. Before anything further could be said Tony asked. “How is it we understand you?”

“Yes, I was wondering about that.” Bruce added, staring intently at Fandral. The man laughed merrily and nodded to himself.

”You mortals always inquire about such petty things. We understand All and can speak All, mortal.” He tilted his head to Natasha. “I daresay you hear me differently than these mortals do you not?”

“I hear Russian.” Natasha said cautiously. Then spoke in Russian. It took a moment for Tony understand. Fandral didn’t seem at all bothered.  


“And a pleasure to meet you as well, Lady Widow.”

“But how?” Bruce asked curiously, a few more questions from Science Mode. 

“It is the way of the gods.” He said simply.

“Yeah, about that.” Clint interrupted. “Why are you calling us mortal and each other gods?” Fandral looked confused. 

“Surely you jest? Have you humans forgotten us gods since last we came? Why that is the very reason why we are celebrating today!” He explained incredulous.

“Humans are short-lived, Fandral.” A stern looking man suddenly near them. “Countless generations have passed since the start of the War.” 

“Ah, Hogun.” Fandral said turning to him. “Surely they could not have forgotten though? Despite their short lives?” Hogun said nothing. He looked at them. “Then why are you here?” He asked forlornly. 

“So you aren’t interested in taking over?” Clint asked awkwardly.

“Why would we start a war the day we will finally end one?” Fandral cried dismayed.

“Midgardians are vexing creatures.” Hogun said and turned to the sky. “It is good that the preparations are over.” Fandral looked up then changed in demeanor entirely. He stood straighter and his face turned stern.

“SIF!” He yelled.

“I see it!” She yelled back, somehow over heard the crowd. “PLACES!” She yelled. The giant they met yelled the same as well. The two species separated and the stood apart. 

“Follow me mortals. Quickly.” Fandral ordered. They followed them, and Tony wondered what the hell people looking at things from his recordings were thinking, twittering, and basically freaking out about. Fandral and Hogun led them to stand next to their race in what was clearly an altar like area, created from finely imported supplies and fallen trees. He had to admit, it looked nice in a kind of primal way. “Wait here.” He ordered then went to stand next to Lady Sif. 

A less flashy turbulence arrived this time. Tony shielded his eyes, even with the suit the lightening was bright. He wondered who had come this time round. 

Two smaller groups of aliens stood in front of each army, species respectively in front of their own. Three larger giants dressed stood in front of a smaller blue form, whose costume matched the Asgard army more than theirs, but looked to be dressed in much more expensive and exotic clothing to other giants present.

Opposite of them stood three Asgardians. One was a tall man with splendid armor, a spear, and an eye patch. Next to him stood a woman in a gown, her hair elaborately decorated and with a golden sword by her side. In front of them stood a younger man with a red cape, battle garb, and a hammer strapped to his waist. 

Lady Sif and Billingr walked toward the two groups, then knelt in front of their respective races.

“Your majesties, everything is ready. I hope it is to your liking.” Lady Sif replied. 

The one eyed man scanned the crowed and tents. “It suffices.” He intoned. One of the blue creatures looked over the crowd and preparations with a sharper eye. Tony shivered when three pairs of red eyes looked on them.

“I concur with the All Father. However, who are these mortals?”

“They are Midgard’s representatives, my lord.” Billingr replied. “In this group we find examples of this Realm’s finest warriors, scholars, and merchants.”

“He is correct, your majesty.” Lady Sif intoned. “We have seen and heard of them in thepast few travels here. Their names are known through out the lands.”

The woman smiled at them. “A fine group then.” She said regally. 

The blue creature that had spoken walked forwarded to them. The army behind them bowed. “I am King Laufey, you mortals are welcome here and no harm will come to you nor your people during this ceremony by myself or my people, upon my word of honor I swear.” He said. Then he moved back. “Rise Billingr and stand with your brethren.” 

Odin All-Father stepped forward and repeated King Laufey. “Lady Sif, you may rise. We will begin now.”

“Yes, your majesty.” Lady Sif replied. She rose then moved next to a Fandral and Hogun. Tony saw that behind them a red haired man had begun to cry. Tony felt like laughing because it slowly felt like today was possibly the result of some spiking. He wanted to ask someone what was going on but everyone around them was silent. The two kings stepped forward as one and nodded at each other. 

“Welcome all,” Odin began, his voice sounding like it was coming from all around them and Tony wondered if his camera was necessary. “It has been many millennia since the Great War between our people began and although an uneasy peace has remained between us since I lead an expedition into Jotenheim to seize the Casket of Winters, today will mark its official end.” He stepped back. 

King Laufey spoke. “A new era of peace will begin for our peoples: Jotnar, Aesir, and man.” His voice was just as powerful as Odin’s but something about it was inherently cooler and harsh. “We all have lost in the war but also gained from it.” He gestured behind him. “When Odin All Father came to end the War he took not only Casket by my son, Loki.” The Jotnar hissed as one. The alien equivalent of a boo, Tony guessed.

Laufey raised his hand. “It was only after our first attempts at an official treaty begun that I learned the fate of our youngest prince, after many difficulties he returned to us.” He paused and stared at the Avengers then continued. “He had been born in war and I feared perished in it due to my own folly. I felt I had paid the price for the invasion of Midgard where many a mortal fell to our hand.” He smiled.

“Loki returned to us in a gesture of faith as Odinson and now stands proudly as Laufeyson.” Tony was sure that was a dig at Odin. “All Father wished to unite the House of Odin and Line of Laufey under one family to establish peace. I agreed with the sentiment but not the method. Today, The House of Odin and the Line of Laufey will unite but not by deceit and theft but through marriage and accord.” Tony reeled. All right, not an invasion but apparently a resolution to one that happened a long time ago.

A cheer ran through the crowd from both sides then quieted. Then Odin All Father stepped forward. It was here that Tony drifted off because talk about family, lineage, and new ages came for the next hour. Apparently alien weddings were no better some people weddings. He talked to Jarvis, checked his e-mail, and occasionally glanced at how bored his teammates looked. Looking at the princes Tony couldn’t help but snort, so glad he could mute himself to the world aloud.

Prince Loki looked bored and was twirling one finger in the air beside him in an unusual pattern, a soft glow coming from that digit. Spell? He wondered. Prince Thor looked stern for the most part but when most of the crowd’s attention had been drawn to King Laufey, he had rolled his eyes and made miming talking sound. Prince Loki had smiled at that but then stayed stern faced as his father turned to him and brought him forward. Odin brought Prince Thor forward. This marked the start of the actual marriage ceremony. Thor’s mother Frigga, which made sense once Jarvis informed him she was the ‘goddess’ of marriage, administered the actual marriage part of the ceremony.

When it was done a cheer that was actually louder than anything Tony had every heard before went through the crowd. Tony hadn’t been one for metaphor but he thinks the earth quite literally shook from the force of all those ‘gods’’ yells. Aside from that terrifying aspect it didn’t really hurt to hear it despite how loud it was.

A grinning Lady Sif led them to a table once the ceremony was over. Then there was food and alien booze. They were left pretty much alone, Lady Sif went off to do whatever goddesses of war did. Tony shut down the cameras. “So guys, what do you think?” Bruce asked as he tentatively bit into something that looked like bread.

“At least it wasn’t an invasion.” Steve said sounding a bit dazed. “I mean, a wedding is okay. They’re not going to destroy the earth, now are they? I mean, this was a peace treaty.”

“I hope not!” Tony answer. “It took forever to get through that meeting can you imagine adding another few thousands years once the next one came about? I’m not subjecting my descendants to that.”

“Like you don’t have any as it is.” Clint snorted.

“Clint!” Natasha hissed. “You shouldn’t mention Tony’s out of wedlock children like that.” Everyone laughed.

“Bastards? You should take care of any children you bear even if you find them undesirable.” A friendly voice behind them chastised. “It is the only honorable thing to do.” Tony turned and saw Prince Thor looking at them with a kind smile on his face. Prince Loki stood behind him.


	2. Chapter Two

After he dropped off the Avengers at Central Park, Coulson drove several blocks away, parking next a dark colored van in an evacuated and cordoned off street. As soon as he stepped out of the drop-off vehicle a junior agent joined his side. Coulson vaguely recognized her as Agent Liu, one of Hill’s people. SHIELD was putting their best assets on the field. 

He hadn’t expected anything less. 

“Visuals are a go, sir. Targets have exhibited no signs of hostility and aerial support reports no signs of aggression between the two parties themselves or against any humans. Director Fury and Assistant Director Hill can be found on secure line Alpha Tango Delta. The Avengers can be reached on their Omega Five line.” Then promptly offered him an earpiece. Coulson took it and placed it inside his right ear as he entered the surveillance van. 

A series of screens dominated both sides of the wide vehicle. Coulson recognized Stark Industries’ technology and couldn’t help but appreciate the fusion of power and efficiency before him. Unlike police or lower governmental agencies vans with bulky monitors and control panels the van was lined with sleek monitors and workstations. 

Stark designed his equipment to be practical and portable without compromising processing capacity or power. It was the best money could produce and buy. If it were not for his ego sometimes Coulson would have more than a begrudging respect for Stark. 

Coulson took a seat to the right where the monitors displayed the incoming video from Stark’s Iron Man cameras. The images were pristine and clear. However the audio was faint. Coulson could barely hear the Avengers’ footsteps on the speakers. He glanced at the control panels to assure himself that it wasn’t a glitch. The speakers’ volume was set to low. 

No signs of distress from any of the Avengers.

No unexpected offensive maneuvers from the aliens. 

Good.

“Director?” He called into the secured line. 

“I read you, Coulson. Until further notice this mission solely focuses on establishing contact with ET with priorty on threat assessment. We got eyes on the ground and air to back up your team of lunatics.” Fury said. To his left a screen changed to show incoming data from the air and ground support. 

“We’re scanning the rest of the globe with satellite and local sources for any other possible contact sights but this currently is the only known location.” Hill added.

“There may be more of them.” Coulson said, knowing he was merely repeating a known fact

“Yes. These bastards have shown that they have the ability to only not come to Earth but hide their people from all our equipment. They were practically breaking down our doors and we still couldn’t find them. For all we know that’s low tech for them so if there are others and there is a possibility of finding them by God I’ll do it. 

“Now, unless the Avengers appear to be in any immediate danger you and your team are to observe and do nothing more, got it?”

“Roger, sir.” Coulson said and turned his attention back to the screen. The hike into the main camp was slow and Coulson could tell that Stark was wary. At various points in the distance he could spot several blue aliens in the foliage; standing immense and dwarfing several of the the trees the giants moved in coordinated motions. They were planning something. 

As if reading his thoughts the analysts back at headquarters relayed information regarding the giants’ heights. Estimates on the giants’ size ranged from a small six feet tall to as large as fifteen. Males out numbered females two to one.

The creatures were immense. Coulson wondered what it would be to stand next to them and couldn’t quite imagine it despite proof of their existence before his eyes. If things turned badly this wouldn’t be a David and Goliath, no this would be a slaughter out of sheer strength before anyone could get to the Avengers. If any survived it would be Dr. Banner.

Then there was first contact.

He watched as a female Asgardian and the blue alien from Jotunheim ––male? ––greeted the Avengers. Coulson was grateful that Stark kept his attention on the impressively tall alien before him. He frowned as he watched the alien’s lips. 

“What language are they speaking?” He asked the agents. He got several confused glances. “Look at their mouths; it doesn’t match the words.” He snapped. One of the more promising junior agents, Agent Chou, glanced at the screen. Her brow furrowed then she gasped.

“You’re right; whatever they’re speaking isn’t English.” 

“Get on that, see if we can establish how they’re communicating with us.” Coulson ordered his eyes not straying from the screen. Chou nodded and started talking quietly with someone at HQ.  
Shortly after Stark’s big mouth gave them a vague answer to the communication question. 

Why did the aliens call themselves gods? Could it on a possible mistranslation from their language into English? He would need to ask someone else whose native language wasn’t English what he or she heard. 

As the conversation continued Coulson wished they had more visuals there on site rather than just Stark’s cameras. He kept a track of the activity in the background, what were the aliens preparing for? What had they waited for so long? 

Still he stayed silent. His questions were again self-evident and Fury, not to mention whatever organizations he had corralled/blackmail/extract cooperation from, were working on them as they spoke. 

The aliens’ societies had a hierarchical structure with some form of nobility or high class with titles that translated to those of Lady and Sir. He found the interaction between the Fandral and Hlóðyn interesting. At the moment the aliens presented a female/male binary like humans, he wouldn’t be surprised if they had more genders or sexes, but they were still two distinct species. Yet it was clear that some intermarriage between the two groups was possible. 

Was the purpose of marriage merely political or a result of generations of interaction? A balancing of two natures that turned out to be symbiotic more often than not? Could they reproduce? His train of thoughts stopped when he heard Fury speaking over the comms.

“They’ve been on earth before. Sitwell get your people to see if there is any mention of them in anything we have on record. Now.” He felt anxious only once, when Fandral questioned the Avengers as to why they were there. The alien appeared more distressed than offended but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t attack them. Just as things reached a pivotal moment another storm began. 

Fandral led the Avengers to stand in an area and he heard someone yell “I’ve go something!” just as a flash of lightning obscured their vision and heralded the arrival of another, smaller, group of aliens. He could hear Stark swallow over in the recording while a junior agent reported to Fury:

“I am finding references to these aliens in Norse mythology, sir, both of them.”

“Keep looking, our new guests are speaking I don’t want to miss anything.” Fury ordered. “Expect to report in a few minutes.”

“Yes, sir.” The agent replied and Coulson’s curiosity rose. Was the word ‘god’ just a hold over from that time period when the people of earth could have interpreted advanced technology as magic? The introduction and preamble to the wedding was long. Coulson wondered for whose benefit they were recounting the entire events of the war and invasion for because it just set Coulson on edge. 

If they had invaded once what was to stop them from doing so in the future? 

Fury must have realized that the speeches would continue for a while when he heard him bark, “Report now, agent.”

“Yes, sir.” Coulson sat in silence listening to the explanation. The aliens from Jotunheim were ‘frost giants’ while the aliens from Asgard were known Aesir, assuming the information had been recorded correctly. Coulson frowned as the description of the gods was given. Thor, thunder and fertility god. Odin, king of the gods, etc. and their brief backgrounds. 

Some of it clearly was wrong. 

Sif and Thor were not married. 

Loki, god of mischief, was not currently tied to some chains in some cave. 

Coulson watched the wedding proceed with more interest. For all their callings of gods they did not act like anything other than people and their behavior even appeared to match human reactions to a great degree. Coulson did not take this to mean there were universal characteristics but rather that they may have shared more common ancestry or more forgotten culture.

The wedding continued and he found his attention waning despite himself. 

The video occasionally moved from speaker to various people in the crowd, the two grooms in the side, and the Avengers. Stark getting bored. He saw Banner absentmindedly rubbing at a scar on his forefinger, a souvenir from the last fight with the Abomination. The fight had rendered a good part of Chicago to rubble and had left Stark with hefty repair bill when the top floor of the former Stark Towers exploded. 

“Sir?” Coulson turned to Agent Chou. “Director Fury wants to speak with you.”

“Director?” Coulson called. 

“Coulson get ready to play babysitter another group of idiots.” He said in a tone that betrayed an underlying current of anger. “Have Stark go offline once the wedding is over and patch us over to Rogers. He’s going to see if our newfound friends whether they’ll be willing to meet some hastily assembled diplomats from various fuck-if-I-know-where countries. Can you believe it?”

“Yes, I can sir. I’ll be expecting orders.” Coulson barked and watched the wedding proceed. 

The wedding ended, anticlimactically without even a kiss among the new spouses, but the aliens roared in excitement once the final vows were spoken. He felt the van shake and quickly stepped outside. The yell could be heard clearly even from there. Impressive and powerful.  
He reentered the van. 

“Recount.” Chou spoke. 

“Sif is leading the Avengers to a reception area.” Coulson looked at the cameras, he saw the camera shake. Then:

“This has been a Tony Stark Production. Thank you for watching.” The video feed cut out. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Coulson. Our audio is still a go with you but unless you need us we think its best that we stay as silent as possible with each other. They can’t hear me in the suit but can outside and since we’re about to eat I don’t want to too like I’m talking to no-one.”

“Fine. Video feed was soon going to be end soon as well. Stay on the line, do you understand? I want any signs of danger reported immediately. Can Rogers here me?”

“Yes.” Rogers’ voice broke in quietly.

“Good. Rogers see if you can have the aliens agree to meet a few diplomats.”

“From where?” was the whispered reply.

“I don’t know but I’ll be leading them in so we will be armed even if we are friendly. Fury gave me the orders half an hour ago.”

“Worthless paper pushers.” Stark muttered. “No offense, Coulson.” Coulson gave a huff of laughter. 

“Right, we’re at a table. Sif is leaving.”

“Good, stay in touch.” Coulson replied, wishing they did have cameras still but heard the group talking about their observations of the wedding. When suddenly a voice cut in: 

“Bastards? You should take care of any children you bear even if you find them undesirable.” A friendly voice, at least. “It is the only honorable thing to do.” Stark choked on his laughter. Coulson heard a flurry of movement and assumed everyone was standing. 

“Er, that was a joke. A bad one but a joke but joke. I don’t have any kids. I made sure of that.” Stark said a bit too quickly. “Your highnesses, princelinesses.” There was an amused sound from a new voice. 

“I am uncertain whether I should be insulted at that poor excuse of a jest.” The cool voice replied. “Sit, you need not stand for us. I understand that most of you mortals have done away with monarchies and no longer hold us gods to light, much less consideration. All for the best, I say. I never cared for all this pomp and circumstance.” A rustle of cloth and metal. “I am Prince Loki Laufeyson, god of mischief, lies, and husband bound to this oaf next to me for all eternity.” A grunt of pain as metal hit metal. 

“Ignore my husband, mortals.” The first voice broke in. “He likes to play up his part. Has since we were children millennia ago.” A clap of hands. “Yes, let us rejoice. Today is a great day and not solely because we are wed. I am Thor Odinson, it is a pleasure to meet you mortals.” 

“Likewise, your highness.” Banner replied. “We weren’t really sure why your kind had come to Earth.” 

“I had ascertained as much.” Loki replied. “You are far too armed for a casual visit and I may have not been on Midgard for a few centuries but I have observed your customs. Your people no longer wear such kind of attire for formal events. No you prefer sleek suits and dresses.” 

“Yes, I too had assumed the same.” Thor replied. “I am still gladdened that you have come! The more the merrier.” Thor laughed. “I have heard of your group from our scouting parties. Your group is known as the Avengers is it not?”

“Yes.” Romanov replied. “How much do you know about us?”

“Enough to know that Lady Sif considered parading as mortal for a century or so in order to fight along side you and your shield-brothers.” Thor replied, his tone respectful. “Come, tell me about yourselves, it has been many a century since I have had the pleasure to speak with one of your kind.” 

“The last time he was on Earth he had married a scullery maid and caused the Earth-mother to sink an entire island after he had stolen a necklace for her dowry.” Loki replied. 

“If Lady Gaea did not wish for me to take that necklace she should not have left it unguarded in a cave. She clearly had no need for it.” He defended. “It was covered in eons worth of dust and cob webs. I had to take it to the dwarves to get it properly polished.” A wistful sigh. “That maiden was more than to worth the wrath of our fathers.” 

“Back to the topic on hand?” Loki broke in sounding amused. “Tell us, mortals, about yourselves.” 

“Not much to tell.” Stark said. “Everything about my life can pretty much be found on Wikipedia.”

“Same with me.” Rogers broke in. “Only ignore the last section. Tony keeps deleting and it keeps popping up.”

“I keep telling you, the more you deny it the more people are going to believe it.” Barton scolded. Coulson wondered if Rogers was referring to the implications made about him and Barnes or the conspiracy theorists that insisted he was a clone, possibly alien. 

“I am unfamiliar with this Wikipedia.” Loki replied. “Is it a being? Location where knowledge is stored?”

“Kind of the latter only it’s not real. I mean it’s real but it doesn’t have a physical location. It exists in cyberspace.” 

“Cyberspace?” Thor sounded puzzled. “I do not believe I have heard of such a thing but where it is we are not there. So come, you are not a group of bashful maidens! No offense intended, Lady Widow. But come on, speak.” 

“Fine. I’m a genius philanthropic billionaire playboy who runs a technology giant, as a side job I work as a superhero.” Stark said. “That’s pretty much my life in a nutshell.”

“Of course that leaves out his ego which deserves a story of its own story.” Romanov added. Coulson bit back a laugh. 

“I resemble that remark!” Stark countered. “Though if we’re going to talk about egos, how about yours Ms. I’m a triple agent who is one of, if not the best, assassin in the world?”

“Hey!” Barton cut in. “I take offense to that. I’m just as good as her.”

“You shoot people with arrows. She kills people with her thighs.”  
“I could totally kill people with my thighs. I grew up in a circus, man. I’m just as flexible. Only that would really not make use of my kick-ass freakish vision.”

“That’s not an image I needed.” Stark complained. 

“You mortals are most perplexing…and tiny.” Thor said. Loki laughed. 

“For once we agree on something.” Loki added. “What about you, Dr. Banner? You strike me as the odd one of the group. Two assassins, a soldier, and a man who dons armor as his weapon - how do you fit in?”

“Er, I’m the Hulk.” 

“You’re extraordinarily clumsy?” Loki asked. “I do see how one could use that to their advantage but I admit I am even more lost than before.

“Um. No.” Banner said sounding perplexed. “That definition never really occurred to me before.”

“He turns into a giant green rage monster.” Stark said. A sound of movement then, “Here look.” 

“Ah, a berserker!” Thor boomed, because boom really was the only proper description for the power behind his voice. “Well met, then, Dr. Banner. You are one of my father’s people even if you do not know it.” He laughed. 

“You turn into such a beast?” Loki asked. “I did not know mortals possessed such abilities. What is your lineage?”

“This…isn’t genetic. I was exposed to something that should have killed me.” Banner replied instead.

“Surely though you must have some sort of shifter in your family? How else would you explain such a drastic change?” Loki said sounding affronted. “It took me centuries to master transformations properly and I am by nature gifted in such an art. Why my current appearance is one such result. Were my brothers, father, or other kin to lay a hand upon me I would slowly change to match their own appearance.”

“I don’t have an explanation, really.” Banner replied. 

“But-?” Loki gave an annoyed and irritated yell of frustration. “I need more information. Perhaps if you were to let me observe your change I would-”

“Whoa, hold one a moment.” Barton said. 

“Yes, let’s stop this before we accidentally start treating Bruce like a test subject and not a person.” Rogers added.

“I mean no offense, I am merely interested in the process that brings about his transformation.”

“That might be true but in our experience has made us wary of anyone taking an interest in Bruce a little too closely.”

“I shall not mention any further.” Loki stated. “I shall inquire no more. It ask for you forgiveness Dr. Banner if I revived any unpleasant memories, that was not my intention.” Coulson let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. The Hulk was something he hadn’t wanted to bring up and really wished the Avengers had kept it a secret. The Hulk was nearly indestructible and he had been a bit suspicious of Loki’s line of questioning.

Despite his tone Coulson didn’t trust them. They were alien and despite whatever auto-translation their language provided it didn’t mean they couldn’t lie or that the same intonations held the same meaning with the beings. 

Loki was supposed to be the ‘Silvertongue’, a gifted orator and trickster.

Charisma could be one of the greatest weapons an enemy wielded. Many people had followed blindly and fallen with the worst men in history all because they had a way with words. Who was to say the aliens didn’t know about this? They had been to Earth before, they must know something about humanity.

“Please, forgive us, we did not honestly mean any offense.” Thor added. “Now come, tell me of your exploits.”

“As much as this would be a fitting tale, husband-mine,” said Loki. “we must visit the other guests.”

“Your highnesses,” Rogers began. “before you go, can I ask whether you would mind another group of dignitaries visiting and attending your rest of your wedding celebrations?”

“Not at all.” Thor said, sounding unconcerned.

“From where do they hail?” Loki asked sounding suspicious. 

Coulson wondered at the two princes’ reactions. One unconcerned, the other untrusting. Why? 

“They are many of our world’s countries. This is an international city and several of the representatives were already present when you came here.” Rogers answered. 

“Very well.” Loki stated. “I have no issue with this but our fathers may. We will speak with them then return to you. If you excuse us.”

“Yes, it was a pleasure to meet you mortals.” Thor replied and the sound of them leaving was heard. Despite the armor he had seen the two aliens walked away without a clatter or jingle of metal. 

“So…what are the chances they’ll refuse to let those bafoons in or that it will turn into a clusterfuck?” Barton asked.

“Clint, language.” Rogers stated. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to bet on these things. Besides any number of these people may be listening and may misinterpret what we say. I’d rather not make bets on everything ending in tragedy. We’ve been doing well so fine and they’ve been very polite.”

“He’s right to be concerned.” said Romanov. “This has gone well, possibly too well. In my experience this is the calm before the storm. Something will happen and we may have to fight to get out of here.”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that.” Banner said. “they have been kind, not harmed any of us nor treated us like inferiors.”

“They call us mortals but if they still use titles and claim to be gods it may just be synonymous to them as ‘you guys’, but a bit more specific. 

“I still don’t think we should assume it’s all going to go to hell.” Rogers snapped. 

“Calm down, Cap. Take deep breaths. Are you having another of those ‘Why is this the future?’ moments?”

There was no reply but Coulson imagined that Rogers was glaring at Stark. 

“Aliens, gods, alien gods. Why can’t it all be true?” Banner asked. 

“I’m not drunk enough to discuss metaphysics or philosophy. Another time, Brucie.”

“Weren’t you trying to stay sober?” Barton asked.

“Soberish, as in I will not get drunk but am allowed a casual drink or two. Nothing excessive. Or when working. Pepper is worried about my liver. I’ll find a way to grow a new one. I gave myself a new heart didn’t I?”

“If you consider sticking a source of renewable energy in your chest then yes.” Banner said. “It’s not really a new heart. You’ll die without it.”

“I’ll die without a heart. Same thing, kind of. Not really. Let’s move on, I’m starting to get flashbacks.” 

“Coulson?” Fury called. “Any word from Rogers?”

“No, sir. They are still waiting for a response from the Kings. Princes Thor and Loki have no problem with it so it may be accepted.”

“Good, our diplomats are getting impatient.”

“Nothing I can do about that, sir. Maybe we should get the local Renaissance faire to have an impromptu festival, I doubt the politicians will notice the difference.”

“You’re probably right Coulson but unfortunately I didn’t make this decision.” 

“Too bad, it would be worth it to see the looks on their faces.” Fury gave an amused huff and Coulson kept listening to his people. They were arguing over science ethics and Rogers was defending his decision to take the super soldier serum. 

It was a repeated argument and Coulson ignored them. 

He took a moment to read over the local reactions to the aliens on his tablet (Stark and SHIELD tech). Guiltily he went on the social sites first and glanced at the assortment of twitters SHIELD had chosen to represent average reactions. There were a number of religious and conspiracy theorists on board with the conclusion that this was a trap to get everyone distracted from ‘real problems’, deeming the transmission fake as the moon landings. 

Several people showed fear. 

Others seemed oblivious to it. 

Facebook showed the same results. 

Then the news sites. The reports were bland and on the fact. Several follow up articles were interviews from people evacuated from the area. 

A John Killian appeared to be quoted several times since he had been in the park the moment the aliens had arrived. Several ‘no comments from authorities’ keep appearing as well for once the local police seemed to be following orders though Coulson knew it was from fear rather than respect. If things went south they did not want SHIELD and their military liaisons to hold grudges against them. 

Another half an hour passed, when suddenly he heard Rogers speak. “Hello, again, your hignesses, and it’s a pleasure to meet your majesties.”

“My son indicates that more of your kind wishes to come here?” King Laufey asked, his voice still harsh. “What are the reasons for this?”

“Peace, Laufey.” Queen Frigga beseeched. “The mortals clearly wish to engage in politics. It hath been many a year since we last did come.”

“Your kind has travelled to this realm freely while my kind has not.”

“We will not repeat this argument in front of these mortals.” Odin stated. “If you have grievances we will discuss them not as kings but as family. Any wounds either of our people suffered under our rule is to be placed behind us as of today, as of many hours ago.” 

“Father, please do not start again.” Loki asked.

“Very well, Loki. It is your wedding day after all. I will allow these mortals to come, but I still distrust these mortals.”

“It’s hardly as if they can pose a true threat to us if they were to engage in hostilities.” A new voice said, sounding a lot like Laufey.

“Byleistr, you would do well to censor such words in front of mortals. It makes them ill at ease.” Another replied. 

Byleistr, son of Laufey. Was the other Helbindi, Laufey’s final son? Coulson wondered

“Enough.” Roared Thor in a tone very unlike that of before, there was a sternness that had been absent in his previous conversation. “The mortals wish to talk diplomacy. We are royalty not petty fish mongerers squabbling over pricing. There is a time and place for such talk but that is not here.”

“My husband is correct, father, brothers. This arguing will appear as weakness. As we speak they observe us, listening.”

“Indeed, much as their science lacks the wonders of our own magics and technologies it has become something that should not be underestimated.” Odin added. “Look how quickly they assembled before us when a millennia ago they would have taken many days to travail great distances.” 

“At the wedding? How distasteful.” Byleistr noted. 

“May we come back to the matter at hand?” Helbindi asked. 

“I have no objections. Wife?” 

“None at all. I welcome these mortals as a sign of peace.” 

“Good, call your people, fair Captain. We will await them and set out another table for them.”

“Thank you, your majesties.” Rogers added. 

“Relay the information to your people. When they arrive speak with Billingr. He will aid you as before.”

“Or the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three if you cannot find Lord Billingr.” Odin added.

“Who are the Warriors Three?” Barton asked. 

“Sirs Fandral, Hogan, and Volstag. I will have my son introduce them to you.”

“I believe they have already met Fandral and Hogan, father.” Thor replied.

“We have. They were very helpful and kind before we knew what was going on.” Romanov stated. 

“Good, I am glad to hear that.” Queen Frigga stated. “If you have finished eating there are several activities occurring around us at the moment. You may partake in them as you wish. There is no charge or cost to any guest. Good archer I believe you would enjoy competing against our best marksmen as well or you Lady Widow?”

“We’d be honored to take a look and get to know your people better.” Banner stated. The other two must have nodded because the queen laughed delighted. 

“Splendid.”

“Now, if you would excuse us, we must attend to our other guests.” Odin stated.

“As must I. My sons are at your disposal as well, mortals should you encounter any problems. I swore upon my honor no deliberate harm to you and I mean to keep my word.” Laufey added.

Coulson stood from his chair and waited to see if the conversation would continue.

“Well that was the nicest mildly threatening conversation I’ve had in a while.” Stark stated. “Fury could take some pointers.” 

“They’re thousands of years old, they had time to learn.” Barton said. 

“Right, well. Coulson did you get that?” Stark asked. 

“Yes. Stand-by for orders.”

“Sir?” Coulson stated as he switched lines. 

“I have forwarded the information, Coulson. You’ll be sent the pick-up location for the dignitaries soon and get this motherfucking thing over as soon as possible. They will be there in approximately twenty minutes. Fuckers are ready to run off at the drop of a hat.” Fury replied. 

“Roger sir.”

“Tell Stark that they can go ahead and indulge in the activities while they wait.”

“Will do.”

“And Coulson?”

“Sir?”

“Try not to taser anyone.” One comment and now he’s suddenly taser crazy but it had been Stark…

“I’ll try and restrain myself.” He deadpanned. 

Coulson relayed the information to the Avengers and headed out to the rendezvous point. When he stepped out of the van he took a moment to stretch his legs. Things had gone well up to this point, he hoped none of the dignitaries made this an intergalactic (inter realm?) incident. 

He walked the few blocks over to the park, pulled out his phone, and waited. 

He looked around him, taking in the perimeter. A few agents were stationed on corners at least three blocks away from him. In the distance he could see a police barricade. He put on his sunglasses, saw he had no incoming messages. He looked at the time. Ten minutes. 

He selected his browser and went to Television Without Pity.


	3. Chapter Three

The diplomats came from a mixture of the United Nations Security Council’s permanent and non-permanent security members, the men and women composing the small group of diplomats ranged in age from their early forties to the early sixties. Coulson greeted them with a bland smile and firm handshake. They didn’t seem interested in talking to him, thinking him to be simply an escort so he didn’t bother with polite conversation. 

He led the team into the park and through the same path the Avengers had take to the gods. He heard them chat quietly on their way. 

“What do you think of their claim of divinity?” A woman asked another quietly. 

“I say we say as little on it as possible. It might just be a mistranslation on their part, a lack of update on their lexicon to describe themselves to us.”

“Yes, it’s not as though we read about aliens all the time in mythology.” A man muttered softly. 

“That we know of.” Another retorted. “If these are aliens whose to say the other so-called gods aren’t?” A murmur of agreement followed before another topic was quickly chosen. Namely: introductions. 

“They’re hierarchical if we choose an order to introduce ourselves in they will think whoever came before and their respective nation are more important than the other.” The oldest looking man said. “It’s an assumption, of course, but a logical one.” 

“Well we can’t introduce ourselves all at once.” Coulson rolled his eyes and said simply. 

“I can introduce you first as equal members of the United Nations. I would suggest introducing yourselves to whomever they look at first.” A quick discussion followed in several languages. After a moment they agreed with him. Coulson nodded and they talk quieted down the closer they went to the clearing. 

The diplomats were nervous and Coulson hoped it didn’t end up with one of them uttering something accidentally insulting to the aliens. It wouldn’t end well for humans. The aliens had been reasonable enough (by human standards at least) so perhaps it wouldn’t but Coulson always thought it was best to expect the worst but hope for the best. 

The giants or Asgardians did not greet them this time around. Instead he slowly led them into the clearing as they listened to the shrieks of excitement coming from the majority of the giants and Asgardians enjoying the activities set around the wedding camp. A quick glance over the field surprised Coulson. He knew the majority would be celebrating, that was understandable, but there were no guards at the event, at least none that he could make out right away. 

Were the aliens that confident or perhaps if they were attacked they were not afraid. He recalled each of the aliens remembered the giants’ strength, the majority of the Asgardians were dressed in armor as their formal wear and despite the rigidity to it Coulson wouldn’t doubt that it was practical. No, the aliens didn’t need guards and it would go against the spirit of the unification. 

They entered the main camp without being stopped. A rotund redheaded man spotted them and approached them with his expression serious. “Mortals! Halt!” The diplomats stilled and Coulson paused. Should he have waited? 

The complete unfamiliarity of the situation put him on edge. The Asgardian came to them and gazed at them. Then broke into a wide grin. Coulson relaxed and heard an audible sigh of relief behind him. 

“Greetings! I am Volstagg, one of Prince Thor’s personal guards. I was told to expect you; you are the ambassadors correct? Hailed by the one called Captain America?” Coulson nodded. 

“Yes, and I’m their escort.”

“And who may you be?” Volstagg asked. 

“Agent Phillip Coulson, associated with an organization known as SHIELD.” 

“Well met, son of Coul. Let me lead you to your mortal friends and I will hail their majesties to inform them of your presence.” Volstagg said in good humor. He gave the dignitaries a small smile and led them to Stark, who had since taken off his armor. Stark was watching an archery contest between Barton and a dark skinned man. 

Barton and the man were shooting and increasing faster moving targets. A man on their right was watching with intensity that Coulson had seen men give to life or death ops. After a moment, a woman in white threw down a white cloth. “Time!” She yelled. 

Both archers stopped. The man turned to them. His mouth was set in a hard line. After a moment he said. “The winner of this match is the Midgardian, Sir Clinton of Barton.” A silence fell over the watchers and Stark grinned. Barton’s opponent’s jaw dropped. 

“I lost?” He said sounding more than a bit shocked. “I can’t have lost. It-it-it-“ Barton clamped his hand around the man’s arm. 

“No hard feelings man. Look on the bright side, I’ll be dead in a few decades so you’ll be the best once again.”

“But I’m THE god of archery!” The man yelled. 

“You win some, you lose some.” Barton replied tactfully. 

“But…” The man just stared. The man who had been the judge just gave an irritated shout. 

“Move, Ullr! You have had your turn! The Midgardian bested you. Go drink some mead and lament there. I have others waiting to play.” The god just went off, staring dazedly into the distance. 

Barton nodded at them. “Sir.” he greeted. Stark nodded as well and his eyes flickered over to the dignitaries who were staring a bit confused. Vostagg laughed after a moment. 

“I wish I could have arrived earlier!” he said. “No one has bested Ullr since his youth. That look will not be on his face for perhaps a few more centuries, if we are lucky.” He chuckled. “Mortals, I have your expected guests.” 

“Thanks man. Can you take us back to the table? That’s where our team agreed to meet.” 

“Of course!” Volstagg agreed and led them. 

“What was that?” Coulson asked Barton. Stark answered for him. 

“Hawkeye beat the god of archery, apparently that’s more than a bit impressive. He already beat two others too.” Coulson smiled, which was just a quirk of his lips. They were met with the others at the table. 

The other Avengers quickly came to the table. Rogers was the most tense, the others hid their anxiety a bit better. He supposed that the future along with aliens would through someone’s defensive and coping mechanisms off more than a bit. 

They waited for a little bit over half an hour. In the distant Coulson could see a few news helicopters, cautiously filming them and the aliens. Several aliens waved at their direction during that time. God, he wanted to check the Internet for reactions. They had to be over the top. 

Eventually the monarchs arrived. None of the princes were present this time. The two kings held a stern and almost unfriendly expression their face. By contrast Queen Frigga was wearing a soft smile on her face. Coulson didn’t know if it was a legitimate smile of friendliness. With that smile the queen appeared as a more sympathetic figure. 

Coulson introduced himself first and gave a small preamble on the role of the United Nations and the equal status of the countries current with them. It was a simple and forthright statement. Afterward the diplomats introduced themselves briskly. 

Queen Frigga greeted them politely and in a soft-spoken but imposing manner. The kings stayed silent. For a moment total silence remained. 

Then the American diplomat took initiative and spoke first. He looked calm but Coulson saw the minor shaking of his hands, which he kept firmly by his side. 

“It is my honor and pleasure to welcome you to my home country, your majesties, the United States of America. While your visit was unexpected I hope that it may bring establish a peaceful and hopefully lasting relationship with another.” He licked lips. “If I may first begin by asking a question I think all of us are curious about, how long you intend to say here on our planet?”

“Eight of your days.” King Laufey replied slowly. “Enough time to properly celebrate.”

“Yes, no more than eight of your days.” Odin replied his expression turning bored. “We have no desire to engage your kind in combat if you should so worry. I have long defended this Realm from any danger, to attack it forthright without provocation would be ludicrous.” 

“The All Father does enjoy looking after you lesser beings.” Laufey’s red eyes bore into them. 

“That is correct, though now it is the duty of both our Realms to aid you. Or at least assist you in the ways we see fit.” Queen Frigga said simply. Coulson didn’t like the implication and it left him with the uneasy realization that the fate of Earth might have been determined by these beings without any of them knowing more than once in the past few centuries. 

Another diplomat came forward to ask another question and the royals. The same question and answers routine went on for nearly an hour before the aliens declared they had had enough and ended the session. The majority of the diplomats looked slightly uneasy. Coulson couldn’t blame them, no matter their level of experience it didn’t compare to millennia worth. 

Before leaving the queen graced them with a serene smile and stated, “You are welcome to come and go in these festivities as you see fit. We will be hosting a wide range of activities in the following days. The fair Lady Sif will have most knowledge in these events, as would the serving staff however the Lady Sif is most easily identifiable. She served in a more private ceremony in the position that you would term ‘best man’.” The queen nodded at them and left. 

The Avengers, who had acted as a kind of unofficial guards looked at Coulson. 

“If you would follow me, ladies and gentlemen, we can discuss this situation in private.”

“I would very much like to have a look around first before we leave.” A young member said. “I can’t say I’ll ever have this opportunity again and even though they invited us we all know this event is going to be heavily guarded and not just anyone is going to be able to come in.”

A murmur of agreement went over the crowd. The Avengers gave Coulson an amused look. Coulson smirked. “Of course, I understand. I’d be happy to escort a few of you around these events. The rest of the Avengers will also be able to escort you among the events as well.” They shot him quick venomous glances. 

The diplomats split among the Avengers and they spent two hours showing the diplomats around before Coulson rounded them to leave. Before leaving the Princes Thor and Loki approached them. 

“We would like to thank you for coming to our wedding.” Prince Thor said stately. 

“Yes, we hope to see you again, I hope.” Prince Loki said and smiled a bit threateningly to them. “Especially your Avengers.” He said. 

“Loki.” Thor warned. Loki just smiled pleasantly at him. Thor sighed. 

“Yes, I would quite welcome your group of warriors.” He smiled. “Come *we* will escort you out.” He grabbed Loki’s arm and hooked it with his. Loki tried to pull away. “I will be our pleasure.” Loki scowled then smiled at them. 

“Yes, our pleasure.” 

They chatted briefly with the diplomats in their question, much less intimidating than their parents, and before they left Loki was attempting to get a few more answers out of the French representative over their education system. Thor had enjoyed discussion football with the British representative for a moment, before politely moving on to another question. 

The following days were filled with a flurry of activity. The Avengers went in several more diplomatic ventures, attempting to learn as much as the aliens as possible with several visiting diplomats and foreign consultants. 

“Bacon, I’m telling you is the true gift of the gods.” Stark debated with Loki. Loki looked doubtful at that argument. 

“I have tasted the ambrosia of the Olympus, the nectar of the gods; the apples of Idunn which flow with the very essence of the Tree. Yet you expect me to believe that this pork fat compares, nay surpasses, them?”

“Yes.” Stark said stubbornly. 

“I believe you may have struck your head one too many times.” Stark just looked indignant. Loki laughed. “Now come mortal, I have a proposition that my husband and I have been discussing as of late.”

“What?” Stark asked wearily. 

“Our continued presence on Midgard.” Stark tensed. “Not to invade but to learn. This Midgard is not the Midgard of our parents, not the one my father attempted to conqueror and while we have visited throughout time much has changed.”

“You want to hang out, is basically what you’re saying.” Stark said. Rogers who had been standing nearby moved toward them. 

“Is that a good idea?” Rogers asked carefully. “Your existence rocked this world itself, staying is more than a bit unsettling to the majority of the population.” Loki smiled. 

“It would be quite beneficial for you, believe me.”

“Why?”

“You are starting to attract attention from the other beings in the universe.” Thor said abruptly, joining his husband and smiling. “You may not be ready to meet them and while we are hardly impartial in our favors to all mortals, Midgard has always been a Realm of interest to Asgard and Jotunheim.”

“Aliens. More aliens.” Stark said sounding a bit breathless. 

“What do you mean getting attention?” Rogers asked, keeping his voice down. 

“Dear Captain, do you believe usage of the Tesseract went unnoticed? Your signals broadcast into the void of space?” Loki retorted. “There are others who have found traces of this and have grown curious.”

“Not all of the nice.” Loki’s fingers were blue in a moment and the temperature around him plummeted. Stark shivered. He stood out in stark contrast to his husband. 

“We are will to offer assistance.” Thor said and smiled. 

“That and we may escape our families for a few decades.” Thor nodded. “Each is insisting take more duties at court as though our marriage has change our status at court.” Thor snorted. 

“Father acts as though he will abdicate at any moment and I must be ready to rule in his stead at any that very instance. As in the second.” Thor frowned. “Though it is true I must be ready his insistence is maddening.”

“We’ll have to discuss this with our organization, SHIELD and not to mention what the government would say about it.” Loki laughed. 

“We will stay if we wish without your consent. There is naught you can do for it, but what we offer is courtesy and a promise to help. Would you turn it down?”

“Not me but Senator Stern and others like him might.”

“Ugh, Stern.” Rogers replied. “Do you know he kept calling me son when I met him?” He shook his head. Stark laughed. “I promise you, your highnesses, we will bring it up to our organization and if your intentions are honest, I would welcome your help or even just to learn from another if the opportunity presents itself.”

“What a sensible mortal.” Thor said. “Why cannot others be like you?”

“Because then life would be boring.” Stark said. 

“That is true.” Loki replied. “And I do hate boring.” A spark went off on his fingers and in the distance people were yelling angrily. 

“Loki!” Thor hissed. “What did you do?”

“Nothing that cannot be undone. Calm yourself, Thor. I affected no one but Father and Helblindi. They have been as insufferable as the All Father.” 

Thor discreetly looked to the left and ducked. “You turned them pink.” He said trying to hide his laughter. 

“I wanted something bigger but the Father watched me like a hawk through out the preparations. I had to do with what I could get sneak in.” Stark glanced over at the now pink king and grabbed Rogers’ arm. 

“We’ll get back to you.”

“Take your time.” Loki said as the king stomped their way.

Stark and Rogers first discussed it with the rest of the Avengers on their way back to SHIELD headquarters. 

“What do you guys think?” Stark asked. “Too good to be true?”

“I can’t help but expect the other shoe to drop.” Barton said. “They’ve been nice but what if they’re just waiting for the right moment to kill us? Invade again?”

“It is true. They appear nice but we have no base line to compare them too. They react similarly to us but not identically.” Romanov replied. “They could betray us and we would never see it coming. They might not even see it as betrayal. When they talk about us sometimes I think they see us like one of those small ant farms.’

“Hey thanks exactly what I feel.” Barton replied. “I just couldn’t think of a perfect metaphor.” He nodded. “But yeah, I mean they call themselves gods and involve themselves in our planet like nothing. Hell Thor can summon lightning and storms. It was suppose to rain three days ago. He grabbed his hammer, flew up and made it go away.”

“When did this happen? Where was I?”

“China with Pepper.”

“Oh. Damn I would’ve liked to see it.”

“It was impressive but the readings we got from it are off the charts, going everywhere.” Banner replied. 

“You got a copy?” Banner gave him a “Are you stupid?” look. “Great. Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen that we aren’t expecting? They’ve had centuries to quite literally either enslave us, kill us or invade but they haven’t.”

“They did once.”

“And now this wedding fixed it. I’m thinking this war was their World War II, neither of them wants a repeat of it and the resolution took a long time to get to. Do you think the wedding would have gone through if they had doubts about it?”

“Probably not.” Rogers replied and rubbed his temples. “It’s nothing that we have any direct control over anyways. Even if we wanted them to stay and help us, that’s not up to us.”

“Loki said he’s staying.”

“You know what I mean.” 

They spent the rest of the ride in silence.

Despite several governments’ attempts at offering to act as hosts to the two so-called gods, no one could out maneuver the spy’s spy Fury. Which is why at the ninth day after the arrival of the gods Directory Fury had the pleasure of meeting with the princes in a remote base stating:

“Gentleman, welcome to SHIELD.” 

Thor and Loki smiled.


End file.
